Stop Asking for Permission


Stop Asking for Permission

You keep waiting for someone to give you the green light.

To tell you that your ideas are great and that your voice matters. To tell you that you’re ready.

That you’ve earned your seat at the table.

But you’re waiting for nothing. Nobody’s coming to f*cking tap you in.

At least not until you tap yourself in first.

The proof is out there for you to see and you don’t even have to look far: people who move fast in their careers aren’t waiting for approval.

They just move.

The Problem

If you’re anything like me, you were taught to constantly “seek permission”.

To be patient. And polite. And modest.

-We overthink before asking.

-We apologize before speaking.

-We double-check and even triple-check before acting.

And all that “checking”, that constant self-editing, trains the room to expect less from you.

Meanwhile, the bold ones, the shakers & movers, the ones who just take and go end up shaping the story while you’re still trying to craft the perfect pitch.

It’s not that they’re more capable.

They’re just less apologetic than you.

Here’s how to take your power back without turning into someone you’re not:

Power Move I: Speak Without the Sorry

Never lead with apologies when you share ideas.

You have to stop seeing your speaking-up as an interruption.

You’re contributing just like others are.

Try this instead:

I’d like to share my thoughts on this process. Here is my recommendation and the why.

Calm. Clear. Confident. And most importantly, unapologetic.

Power Move II: Take the Lead

Your boss will love this one.

You don’t have to wait to be picked to get sh*t done.

Find one small gap in your team or system and fix it.

Maybe it's a dashboard that’s outdated or a process/policy that needs tightening.

Then share your results. Confidently, but casually:

I noticed the wait for the weekly project status update was slowing us down, so I automated it. Here’s what changed.

You shouldn’t need permission to make things better.

And that kind of initiative makes you an undeniable force.

Power Move III: Take the Shot Before You Feel Ready

You’ll never feel ready. That’s the catch.

Confidence doesn’t show up before action. It’s built during it.

So apply for that job. Make the ask. Send the pitch. Put your name forward.

One small uncomfortable step every so often. That’s your 36 seconds of courage.

Bonus Power Move: Schedule Visibility Time

This one is a little meta. But add one recurring 30-minute block to your calendar called Visibility Work.

Every week.

Use it to prep updates, reach out to allies, or document wins.

Treat visibility as a deliverable instead of a coincidence.

Closing Thoughts

You don’t need permission to exist in rooms you’ve already earned your way into.

You don’t need validation to prove what you already know.

Every time you speak up, you’re reminding the room that you belong there (and reminding yourself too).

So stop asking for f*cking permission.

Start giving yourself the green light.

See you next Saturday,

Alain H.


Are you ready to speak without shrinking?

Grab my free guide Small Talk Scripts for Smart People, practical lines that help you sound confident without overthinking.